Is that where I want to be?

by Francis

I meet people who were amazing than me and I can see a lot of them in the most successful careers, successful jobs, beautiful talents, but I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment, meaning, and purpose in their lives. And I’ve always been an observer and I would see these people 5 years older than me, 7 years older than me, maybe 10 years older than me and I’d watch them and be like, is that the life I want?

Fast forward to where you are. Look at yourself in 10, 15, 20 years’ time and ask yourself the question, “Is that where I want to be?”

If you’re in a company look at the person who is 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself, “Is that where I want to be?”

If you’re in a start-up, look at where other startups have got to in similar roles and go, “Is that where I want to be?”

And if the answer is no, then you need to find a new path.

And for me, the answer at that time from observing is “NO”. The path that my parents, or society, or the university I went to or the community I had that was carving out for me it didn’t feel like the path for me so I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path. See, we live in an echoing space. We’re just surrounded by the same thinking.

We meet people who are just like us most of the time. And we talk about this in business all the time. If you want to be a billionaire, spend time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire, spend time with millionaires. If you want to be a tech genius spend time with the tech geniuses learning new stuff. That’s the common rhetoric that we hear all the time, but what if you want to find purpose and master the mind?

So for me, the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models. Because most of us can’t see ourselves in people, so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see. And there’s this beautiful quote I’ve read the next day. So, it’s by a philosopher and writer named Cooley and he said that

“I’m not what I think I am, I’m not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
Cooley

So, we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves. Hence, my identity is made by what my parents and friends think I should be. My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve.

While you’re living in that bubble in that echoing space, getting to what you really want to do is impossible. Because maybe that just doesn’t fit and I think so many people feel that way today. But they don’t fit into the current education system, they don’t fit with the 3 or 4 or 5 careers that you’re taught exists. So that process of self excavation and actualization first requires being exposed. You can’t be what you can’t see. If I never saw that inspiring movie 7 years ago, I would’ve never been interested in this Virtual World. If I never meet such awesome people with stupendous knowledge about the Internet, I wouldn’t want to be one. Because I don’t know what that feels like, I don’t know what that looks like, I don’t know what it takes.

Hence, I think that’s the biggest challenge of our society that we’re not exposed.

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2 comments

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Pallavi D. Patel December 31, 2019 - 9:03 am

Such a thought-provoking post!

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Francis
Francis December 31, 2019 - 1:57 pm

Thankyou Di 😄

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